Friday Fictioneers – Rochelle Wisof-Fields
PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll
Meet me by the Amaryllis
Julie called and told me to meet in the Biosphere by the amaryllis flowers.
Don’t be late, her excitement was infectious. I suspected, she had great news from the fertility clinic.
I booked a table at Antonio’s for later.
Emergency vehicles blocked 5th Avenue and because of the long detour I was late.
Where was she?
The flowers were beautiful – I wondered if they would miss one for Julie’s hair.
I could say it had fallen onto the floor.
It’s not like Julie to be late, I checked my iPhone.
I read the news; three dead on 5th Avenue.
James McEwan 
A tragic romance in the finest tradition. Life can be cruel.
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Oh James,
This went straight for the heart and the gut. Beautifully written, but so sad.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh James! How sad. I like to think it wasn’t Julie…..that she was just late because of the traffic due to the detour….
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A cliff hanger that wants you to turn the page and write your own ending. Is Julie just caught up in the traffic? Why didn’t she call?
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Sad story. I guessed what had happened from the first mention of the emergency vehicles.
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Yes, the foreshadow of what might come prepares you for the inevitable. But then that is your expectation, what if Julie phones him in the next line?
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She won’t because it wouldn’t make much of a story
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Oh, no! I didn’t want to be right!
You’ve done an amazing job of telling this tragedy in stark but not graphic terms.
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thnaks for reading – I know you are left wondering what happened.
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A rendezvous by the amaryllis- so romantic, possible news from the fertility clinic – all so hopeful, then dashed. Very dramatic and tragic.
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I will hope for the best that Julie was not one of the three. There was a traffic jam from the accident.
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I saw a bad ending coming, but it still surprised me. That’s one of those heart-dropping moments. Well written.
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Even in such few words I feel it is important to meet the reader’s expectations. Thank you.
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You paint the contrast between the hopeful waiting in the greenhouse with flowers for her hair and the harsh reality perfectly. The lovely setting makes the story even more heart breaking.
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Thank you, very kind.
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for all you know, she wasn’t one of the dead. unless officially declared, i’d keep my hopes high.
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In a split second life can change. Ouch!
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A dramatic twist, nicely executed.
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It started so beautifully and then came along that fateful final line. Great storytelling James.
Here’s mine!
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Thanks Kieth. For some reason that I have not worked out yet my comments on you site are not accepted.
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I wonder why. I just checked the spam folder in case they ended up there – comments sometimes do – but no joy. In any case, thanks so much for dropping by my place, it’s much appreciated.
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This is really good 😊
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Beautifully done, James. When he got delayed, a horrible feeling washed over me. I still hoped, though.
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This is such a sad story… but at least the Amaryllis was saved.
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Such a tragic situation 😦
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A tragic tale and one that sadly happens to people too
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A hopeful, exciting beginning with such a tragic ending. Given the ending, his fleeting thought about getting a flower for her hair is particularly poignant.
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Thanks Magarisa.
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Oh. Oh no…
Oh this is well told. You certainly tug on the emotion strings here.
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Thanks, Laurie
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Very grim James. Heartbreaking.
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I see this flash fiction as open ended. Most of the reader comments assume the worse for Julie. She may only be delayed by the incident in 5th Avenue.
For me this was a lesson on how to lift the reader’s expectations and let them decide the conclusion.
Thank you for reading.
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