Friday Fictioneers – Rochelle-Wisoff-Fields
Fear in the Woods
‘Okay, you must stay together. Promise,’ said Maggie. ‘The pie’s in the oven.’
As a child, she loved playing in the woods, but Massie and Albert were little, at least they had Buster.
When the apple-pie was ready, she went to call for them.
‘Albert, Massie, come on in,’ she called walking into the woods. ‘Buster.’
She saw the dumped fridge and gave it a kick. Typical!
Massie shouted, ‘Hi Mum.’
Buster began barking on top of the fridge.
‘Where’s Albert?’ She pushed the dog aside and opened the door. ‘Albert!’
Massie’s lip trembled. ‘He stayed home on his computer.’
Oh that Buster, giving us all palpitations!
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Enjoyed the build up in this. Good one.
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Well, that was a relief! Nice one.
Here’s mine!
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Aha! Misdirection!
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Most mother’s fear are misdirected. Thanks for replying. I couldn’t open your chest/box.
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What a relief. They’re both safe! (Although I have doubts about the safety of computers for little kids…)
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i know, but little boys will be boys and the older sister gets blamed.
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That got my heart jumping! Great misdirect!
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Every mother’s fear. Thanks for reading.
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Well played, sir.
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Whew!
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Thanks.
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Dear James,
I’m sure the mother’s relieved. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The mother remembers the fun of playing in the woods when she was young, but fears for her own little ones having the same freedom. Thanks for reading.
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oh, what a relief. loved the ending. 🙂
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Thanks, mothers do worry.
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Buster’s trying hard but he’s no Lassie. Nobody’s “fallen down the well” this time!
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Gave me a chill but so glad for the happy ending. Nicely done!
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Yes, but will they get some apple pie? Thank you.
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Oh gosh, thank goodness. Had me going for a second there. Those darned computer games
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Your story had my heart pounding with fear. They are in trouble but it could have been worse…
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I don’t get it. It wasn’t a twist? 😛
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There was no intention of a twist. It was a play on a mother’s over-protective fear for the safety of her children. Does that make sense?
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It was Maisie’s trembling lip that confused me. So I guess she was just worried that she was in trouble? Sorry James.
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The ambiguity at the end of the story made me fear the worst, especially Massie’s lip trembling when mum came. Glad if there was a happy ending as you explained.
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I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds building up to the end. Well done.
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Thanks for reading.
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Gosh! you had me scared for a moment! Great build-up!
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You scared me. Really! I totally believed the worst outcome. Very well written story.
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